Thank you for laughing at my post title, everyone, as I am sure you did. I'm glad you all liked my very good joke.

Hi Starmourners! I hope you enjoyed April's shenanigans, because all the tricksters (except those of you who managed to get the Trickster title) are going away until next year!

I'm really excited about May, and if you've been following some hype-laden little hints on Flogger recently, I bet you can guess why. At long last, after many months of discussion and refinement, and a LOT of effort on the part of all our coders, (but especially Senzei, who really took the lead on this project - Senzei we heart you!), we are proud to finally introduce the Battlebots system to you all. Battlebots are unique fighting robots loyal to you, and they are available for purchase from in-game shops right the heck now. There are, as of this writing, five separate battlebot arenas scattered throughout the game (and we intend to add more!), with shops containing battlebot kits near each.

HELP BATTLEBOTS has even more specifics about this system, and you are invited to peruse it at length. Please be aware that though we have rigorously tested Battlebots, we have not been able to test it the way you, the players, will be able to. You may find bugs. TELL US! We want to fix them! Most of all, though, have fun with it, because we had fun making it. Speaking personally, I'm really happy today, because the Battlebots design was one of mine! I'm so grateful for all the help I had in bringing it to life!

Moving on! Though Battlebots is and always will be a free to play minigame within the much larger free to play megagame of Starmourn, we do have some new Battlebot shinies in our promo this month that you might be interested in so that we can, fingers crossed, keep the lights on around here!! These new artifacts and items are as follows:

Battlebot Statbump I/II/III
Your enhanced understanding of battlebot mechanics allows you to eek more performance out of your fighting machines, for a total of 4, 5, or 6 stat boosts to your battlebot (the default number of boosts is 3)

Portable Battlebot Repair
No need to lug your broken battlebot all the way to the repair shop anymore! Repair your battlebot anywhere with this artifact.

Custom Bot Deathsight
Create a custom death message for your bot. The following tokens will work: $name, $me, $opponent, $them

A portable bot-fighting ring
If you're tired of traveling to a battlebot arena, let the fun come to you. This item will allow you to create a bot fighting ring in any outdoor room once an hour. (Will not work in repair shops or rooms that are already a battlebot arena)

A 'Busk-o-Tron' branded equipment case
It might not be a battlebot, but it is mechanical! You'll find this creature to be a useful companion, especially if you like drawing a crowd!

A RamBo 5000 robotic companion
This roly poly guy plays games, dances, and is sure to capture your heart. Don't forget to high five him! He's so cute!

A battlebot creator's kit
You can buy creator kits with marks right now, but they aren't cheap, nor do they last forever - so if you win one of these, that's about 20k marks of value!

Other artifacts and prizes available in our sale this month:

Commsphere registration pass - Gender
Improved Scoops
The H.E.T.E. SlimFat 9000
Expert Haggler
A Premium Card Packet

and more!

Oh wait - I almost forgot to tell you about this month's BIG PRIZES on the Mission Control grid!

Every hundred shots, until shot #500, a special "token of friendship" will be awarded to the winner. This token is very special, and you should read HELP FRIENDSHIP TOKEN right now to gain an understanding of what it is. At shot #600 we will give away another Emergency Life Support artifact. After that? Well, who knows! That depends on if we get that far!

I think that's all the infodump I have for you all - for now! As always, stay tuned. Starmourn's team is bright-eyed and bushy tailed and we're always working hard behind the scenes to make the game better and funner.

Go on, now. Go get some Battlebots and fight fight fight!